Tag Archives: wise girl

November 18, 2012

Relax – even Bond Girls get this dating thing wrong!!

By WiseGirl

I know stars are not God but don’t we get fixated on the supposed perfection that we see on our screens everyday?!! Truth is even Bond Girls, the supposedly most beautiful women in the world, get the dating thing wrong in real life, so relax!!

I was running through my list of Bond Girls, cross checking the romance and action they enjoy with Bond  on screen with what  happens in their real life, thinking that somehow and maybe,  their characters have  rubbed off on them (in real life) and that maybe, just maybe, when it comes to real life, they tend to enjoy at least the same level of romance and love as their characters do on screen with Bond. I must say that I am not hugely surprised by my conclusions for after all it is Hollywood that we are talking about, where ‘romance’ is displayed 24/7 but dies in 72days!  We get so fixated by their on screen aura that we begin to think that they must have it good in real life!! The sad truth though is that whilst they play romantic characters on screen with 007, their real dating life is nowhere close the ladies they play on screen. I was hoping that somehow they will pick up a few dating tips from their own Bond Girl characters as we ‘normals’ tend to do but somehow they don’t! So even they get the dating thing wrong… here are a few examples

Let’s look at Jinx as played by Halle Berry in Die Another Day.  On screen she was the perfect 10 and forbidden fruit for Bond until the end! Frankly I liked her charm, I very much did indeed but my question is,  how is she doing in real life?  As beautiful as this Bond Girl is, when it comes to choosing the right guys, she sure is like everyone else! Her choice in men, isn’t exactly executed Bond style I must say! I mean she fell for David Justice, and good old Eric Benet,  then Michael Ealy . I thought she had finally seen the light when she hooked up with Gabriel Aubry but I was to be proven so wrong.  That relationship went right past like a Japanese bullet train!

Not to be too harsh on Halle, I looked into other Bond Girls to see if I could be mistaken. In my own MI6 way, I pulled out Ursula Andress‘ file! Well no surprises there either!! I’ve always thought all I had to do to get my own real life Bond, was to work on the abs and bring up the bum a little bit higher , find my moment by the sea somewhere and channel Ursula through!Reality is that if I was the next Bond girl, that may work but I found out that Ursula haven’t quite nailed it in real life either.

Long story cut short, I guess what I’m trying to say here is that we can get easily disappointed if our dating lifestyle is no where near what we see on screen but  we need to relax and find our own niche  if our own Bond style escapist love haven’t yet happened! Because in real life it does take a bit of research, work, laughter and more work to get to the desired goal so don’t give up just yet.

Mandy shared a version of this article on hereisthecity.com

http://hereisthecity.com/2012/11/04/the-off-screen-romances-of-bond-girls/

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July 21, 2012

The Calm before the Storm

By WiseGirl

I don’t know if you go through this too, but after you part ways with someone, be it a friend, date, parent, sibling, lover, and the list goes on… :)  there is always a sense of .. now what?!!! The feeling is not so much as sadness (especially when you feel that you are achieved or learnt something from the whole experience) neither is it a sense of loss, – at least not in my case, but it is more like a laissez faire kinda mood!!

The girls obviously know what I am going through right now so as a pick me up, we headed out for a great night out after work yesterday!! Talk about the most busiest night to let your hair down, we went to one of my favourite areas in the City. You can just imagine it right now.. Girl of my type deserve to be seen in certain places only ;) . And I most certainly wasn’t disappointed! The atmosphere was charged, fully charged with excitement, men and women all chattering away in an animated fashion, as it usually happens :) !! . We managed to get a seat at a very focal point, very very close to the bar, with me facing the main entrance, right head on..I must say though that the decision wasn’t conscious at all.. It just happened that way. But come to think of it, now that there is a spot in the pool available for other suitable options, I think making a conscious decision on where to sit and stand in a busy bar like the one we went to is nothing but a wise decision. After all, our way of choosing the right guy needs to be thoughtful, strategic and pursued with purpose!

So after going through a couple glasses of the sweet golden liquid, wink wink….the animation in my own conversations went up by 10 notches I guess :) It wasn’t long before this guy walked right up to me with a swag and confidence that surely was overflowing in his cup, and whispered in my ear how gorgeous he thought I looked! Now you know how much thought I put into the initial selection process right?!! If he was anything close to the selection criteria, he would have been a potential candidate but sadly he didn’t show the first qualities that I look for… So I just thanked him and he walked off… Am I being too choosy? I don’t really think so?!!! Reality is why waste time with someone that you know is not going to make the cut further down the line… Some say, well you have to give things a chance, but the thing is, if I put you in the no no circle, then it’s a no no.. but then and again, it’s always good to review the rejected pool as the rejected may become the cornerstone!!! A butterfly starts off as a caterpillar, at which stage, it’s not the most gorgeous thing to look at, so there!! But I guess the point that I am trying to make here is that I have grown and come to know through experience that sometimes, there is no point to pursue a cause when there’s no interest! Thus, the Journey model..

So anyhow, as the evening wore on, and as more and more people flooded into this busy bar, I turned to catch the attention of a waiter going by, only to gaze straight into the eyes of a potential suitor, standing next to the waiter!! Talk about the Mcconaughey effect?!!! I was taken back 3 full steps!! But you know the rules, I never initiate conversation, no matter what! I just  smile, which would be a signal for a suitable potential to engage, but never initiate the conversation. To me the initiation signals that I am chasing the guy.. This is the 21st century, yes, but the chasing is for the guy, not for a cool cute lady like me :) And I love it when they chase… So there!!

But he came in too late, because after that brief unspoken encounter, which I surely did enjoy very well, the girls and I had to leave.. Now the girls encouraged me to give him my card but oooh noo…..it’s still chasing……we know better by  now right?!!

Oooh I didn’t go looking but it sure feels like the calm before the storm……

I love you for reading and sharing :)

-Wise Girl

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July 6, 2012

tête à tête – is he the one?

By WiseGirl

Most of us do cringe when it comes to having THE conversation!! I most certainly do!! And I am not sure if it ended up well this week the way I thought it would.. But then my gut instincts tell me that maybe it having THE conversation was for the best…

Thing is, I am becoming increasingly worried about Jamieson’s character. Although on the surface, he is more than OK and the externals add up there is something going on that I can’t just seem to put my finger to!!  It’s that inner feeling that warns me that something just doesn’t add up!! Oh dear!! I am not being super choosy here with this guy but I have learnt a few things about men on this journey that tells me to watch out!!!

You remember what I said about holding on to the cookie until a lady is  more than certain that he is the one?!!! And you don’t get to find out until probably 6 months down the line… Yep! call me prudish, but it is what it is… it is my secret weapon and I am super determined to hold on  until the end but I can’t stand the pressure of him trying and trying to reach out for the cookie!! I am a lady of my word and I keep my word!!! Given the constant c ‘nagging’ about the subject, I decided to have a very frank conversation with him… Thing is at the back of my mind, I would love for him to walk through this process with me, but maybe he’s just not ready for that kinda thing?!!!  On some days, he does very well, like last week when he sent flowers and the two weeks before when he was patient not to do anything crazy, then on some days, he just goes all over the place and start putting on unnecessary pressure!! But here’s the thing, aside from the fact that I have decided to dig my heels deep into the road to my future bliss of a happy loving relationship, I don’t respond too well to unnecessary pressure, especially when I know that I know that nothing is going to happen until I am ready!! So I decided to have THE tête à tête with him!!

Now don’t call me a spoil sport because underneath all the finesse, the hat and red lipstick, I can blow off sometimes and when I do, it is usually not too pretty :(   So anyhow, I made him set up the date as he usually does, then after a very nice dinner, I just had to tell him where I stand with all his pressure!!  I’m not saying that I went my way screaming and pointing fingers,,, no…I did no such thing!!  I was gentle.. In fact , very gentle. I turned on my Wise Girl charm, and to protect his very big ego, :) told him that I was no where near being ready to knowing him the way he thinks I should know him .. Well… he’s Italian so the rejection on that front, didn’t go down too well as he immediately assumed that I was not going to be seeing him again.. I thought his reaction was interesting.. and started wondering if he was seeing me for the cookie or if he wanted to pursue something meaningful..

You see, ladies, I always know that guys aim for one thing and one thing only!! But surely, there should be more to this game than just the cookie right? What happened to getting some understanding and getting to know the person through and through?!! What happened to companionship? Is life all based on the materialism and what one can get from the other? Is everyone on the earth crying ‘satisfy my need: forget about you’!!  I am getting second thoughts about Jamieson because for me, character is a very important and character goes beyond showing up, opening doors and paying for dinner!! The reaction that I got from him is making me wonder  if all the charm and sweetness that he’s putting on is just to get one thing from me!!!

I have learnt my lesson the hard way and I have decided to take the wheel of this process by going through the Journey Model.. So I choose to act in my own way as and when it suits not when pressured!! Yes he may be Adonis personified but if the Character is not adding up, I wonder if there’s any point!

Anyhow, I left the conversation on a light note.. This week, I want to see if he remains persistent as he has been in the past regardless of him knowing that he’s not going to get what he wants anytime soon… A wrong miscalculated move from his side and he’s out!!!Kaput!!

I love you for reading and sharing……

-WiseGirl

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