Most of us do cringe when it comes to having THE conversation!! I most certainly do!! And I am not sure if it ended up well this week the way I thought it would.. But then my gut instincts tell me that maybe it having THE conversation was for the best…
Thing is, I am becoming increasingly worried about Jamieson’s character. Although on the surface, he is more than OK and the externals add up there is something going on that I can’t just seem to put my finger to!! It’s that inner feeling that warns me that something just doesn’t add up!! Oh dear!! I am not being super choosy here with this guy but I have learnt a few things about men on this journey that tells me to watch out!!!
You remember what I said about holding on to the cookie until a lady is more than certain that he is the one?!!! And you don’t get to find out until probably 6 months down the line… Yep! call me prudish, but it is what it is… it is my secret weapon and I am super determined to hold on until the end but I can’t stand the pressure of him trying and trying to reach out for the cookie!! I am a lady of my word and I keep my word!!! Given the constant c ‘nagging’ about the subject, I decided to have a very frank conversation with him… Thing is at the back of my mind, I would love for him to walk through this process with me, but maybe he’s just not ready for that kinda thing?!!! On some days, he does very well, like last week when he sent flowers and the two weeks before when he was patient not to do anything crazy, then on some days, he just goes all over the place and start putting on unnecessary pressure!! But here’s the thing, aside from the fact that I have decided to dig my heels deep into the road to my future bliss of a happy loving relationship, I don’t respond too well to unnecessary pressure, especially when I know that I know that nothing is going to happen until I am ready!! So I decided to have THE tête à tête with him!!
Now don’t call me a spoil sport because underneath all the finesse, the hat and red lipstick, I can blow off sometimes and when I do, it is usually not too pretty So anyhow, I made him set up the date as he usually does, then after a very nice dinner, I just had to tell him where I stand with all his pressure!! I’m not saying that I went my way screaming and pointing fingers,,, no…I did no such thing!! I was gentle.. In fact , very gentle. I turned on my Wise Girl charm, and to protect his very big ego, told him that I was no where near being ready to knowing him the way he thinks I should know him .. Well… he’s Italian so the rejection on that front, didn’t go down too well as he immediately assumed that I was not going to be seeing him again.. I thought his reaction was interesting.. and started wondering if he was seeing me for the cookie or if he wanted to pursue something meaningful..
You see, ladies, I always know that guys aim for one thing and one thing only!! But surely, there should be more to this game than just the cookie right? What happened to getting some understanding and getting to know the person through and through?!! What happened to companionship? Is life all based on the materialism and what one can get from the other? Is everyone on the earth crying ‘satisfy my need: forget about you’!! I am getting second thoughts about Jamieson because for me, character is a very important and character goes beyond showing up, opening doors and paying for dinner!! The reaction that I got from him is making me wonder if all the charm and sweetness that he’s putting on is just to get one thing from me!!!
I have learnt my lesson the hard way and I have decided to take the wheel of this process by going through the Journey Model.. So I choose to act in my own way as and when it suits not when pressured!! Yes he may be Adonis personified but if the Character is not adding up, I wonder if there’s any point!
Anyhow, I left the conversation on a light note.. This week, I want to see if he remains persistent as he has been in the past regardless of him knowing that he’s not going to get what he wants anytime soon… A wrong miscalculated move from his side and he’s out!!!Kaput!!
I love you for reading and sharing……